How to Say It: The Art of Handling a Difficult Conversation

How to Say It: The Art of Handling a Difficult Conversation

Telling someone that a loved one has died, ending a relationship, and letting someone go may be three of the most difficult conversations we experience in our lives. What these conversations have in common is their heavy emotional weight and the impact they have on the people involved.

Of all the conversations we have every day in the workplace, communicating a dismissal is the most difficult for most people. Preparing for this conversation is essential to ensure communication is direct, clear, and brief, since the person being dismissed will be deeply affected emotionally, as will—though to a lesser extent—the person delivering the decision.

If you lead a team, it is essential to develop the skills needed to handle these difficult conversations effectively.

Before the conversation

Conversación difícil
  • Define the objectives of the conversation: what do I need to communicate? What do I hope to achieve? This will allow you to prepare your rationale, stay focused throughout the meeting, and project confidence.
  • Anticipate the person’s likely reactions and prepare alternative responses.
  • Practice what you want to say to make sure you communicate it effectively.

During the conversation

  • Do not delay the message. While some rapport is usually appropriate at the beginning of any conversation, this is not the case when communicating a dismissal. In a difficult conversation, the purpose of the meeting should be addressed upfront in a clear yet highly assertive manner.
  • Separate facts from emotions. Emotions will always surface in any difficult conversation. Avoid making value judgments and strive to manage your own emotions effectively, even if the other person reacts very emotionally. Give the person time to process the information, and do not avoid their reaction by moving on too quickly before they have fully understood exactly what they have been told.

At the end of the conversation

  • Do not end the conversation at a point of high tension. The other person is likely to have an emotional reaction—anger, frustration, or sadness—so you should allow space for that reaction to surface before bringing the conversation to a close.
  • Avoid ending the conversation by shifting to another topic. In an attempt to wrap things up quickly, some people make the mistake of changing the subject.

Considerations When Communicating a Dismissal

  1. Above all, be human—very human. Empathy and humanity are essential when communicating a dismissal. Listen carefully without interrupting, justifying yourself, or attacking the person, regardless of how they react to the news.

  2. Be courteous and respectful. Communicate the dismissal in private, in a place where the employee feels comfortable and shielded from the view of other colleagues.

  3. Be brief. Do not overexplain, as this can end up being more confusing than clarifying. Use only the time that is necessary.

  4. Pay attention to both verbal and nonverbal communication. When communicating a dismissal, it is important to be careful not only with what is said, but also with how it is said.

  5. Honesty above all. The employee should be informed of the reasons why they are being dismissed.

  6. Express appreciation. It is important to acknowledge the employee’s contribution, briefly review their achievements, and thank them for their effort and dedication. This can help preserve their self-esteem and prevent them from feeling undervalued.

  7. Always act within the law. Communicating a dismissal will be easier for the organization if it acts in accordance with the law. In addition to giving the employee a verbal explanation, a letter should be provided outlining the reasons for the dismissal in line with applicable regulations.

  8. Inform the rest of the team. After a dismissal, rumors and corridor talk often begin to surface. For this reason, it is advisable to speak with the team in a timely manner about what has happened.

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Ana Carrasquero
Consulting Manager – Head de Comunicaciones Internas & Employee Engagement 
acarrasquero@komunikalatam.com
Linkedin: Ana Carrasquero

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